Some people don’t want to heal. It’s not because they don’t want to get better, it’s because their entire identity is centred around the trauma. They don’t know who they are outside of the trauma and that unknown can be terrifying.
1. Knowing deep inside that you are good enough.
2. Believing you can do it, and believing you can make it.
3. Choosing to be grateful when you feel like complaining.
4. Choosing to hang in there when you feel you’ve had enough.
5. Knowing each new day is a true gift and fresh beginning.
6. Valuing others, and treating others well.
7. Investing in people instead of chasing things.
“Empathetic or not, we can never really understand “how much” a person is feeling a particular emotion. We can only acknowledge it, and that’s enough to make a connection.”
— Subconscious Thoughts
I’ll paint my palette blue and grey
Painting you as a summer’s day
With shadows on your hills
I’m sketching the trees and the dandelions
But now you’ll catch my breeze and the winter chills
In colors on the snowy linen land.
And now I understand what he tried to say to me
About being a tormented artist
I see how he suffered for his sanity
The life of an artist is along and lonely one
How I long to prove him wrong but I seem to be turning into him
Slowly I’m cutting my left ear off because I feel like I’m going insane
Let me ask you something young artist
How many times do you think he picked up the paint brush because he couldn’t pull the trigger?
I’ll paint my palette blue and grey
Painting you as a summers day
With shadows on the hills and the dull reality of him being right
The sadness will last forever
He ate yellow paint because he wanted to be happy, to be less lonely
And whilst most think this was just a symptom of him losing his mind I think there’s a lot more to it
If someone is so sad that they think painting their eternal organs yellow will make them happy there had to have been more to it
His favourite colour was yellow and he loved sun flowers
Sunny days were his favourite days and he was consumed by art
Now I wonder if he’s right.
Now I know why I’m so lonely
It only gets hard to breath when when I think of my future without you
I don’t know how to stop endings from growing out of childhood fears
I saw myself hug you once and when I turned to look at you, you were gone
This reminded me of how easy it is to lose you.
How easy it is for you to forget me and I know what your thinking you’re thinking that it’s never going to happen
You’re going to tell me that you made me a promise
Sometimes I look out to the distance when I’m at the beach and wonder what it’s going to be like when we will eventually live together
I think about how we will more than likely be eating charcoal for the rest of our lives because neither of us can cook
I can feel the surprise that both of us will feel when we still haven’t burned our house down
Sometimes I try to imagine what it would be like to sleep with you… just lay with you and wake up in the morning tangled in the sheets with you
But heck! I’m so so so terrible at telling you how I feel and I’m terrified of the outcome… I’m frightened to lose my best friend
Because tea is a good drink and I don’t know what I’m even saying!
I think what I’m trying to say is I haven’t taken the glow sticks off since New Year’s Eve
I still have the program from Suburban Road
I still can’t create your eye colour in my paintings
I still feel your touch
When I think about a future without you something inside me just kinda breaks because I don’t want a future without you
I want to be able to look over to my right when I have too many laughter lines that you created and be able to say we made it
We made it!
We made it?
I want to watch hair go from blonde to grey
You are the best thing to ever happen to me and I don’t want to lose what we have
I know I’m going around in circles but…. but there is no one else I want to go backpacking with
There is no one else I want to live with
There’s no one else I want to go grey with
When our faces show maps of all the places we’ve been I still want to be able to look at you and say we made it.
My soul weeps without
your hands holding mine,
like an artist weeps
without his paints.
-painted love
- K.L
This is is the time of my life where everything seems confusing and a little to far out of reach
Some memories never leave our bones,
Like salt in the sea
They become part of you, and you must carry them with you
Like the waves do.
